Satoshi's past
by HiddenMental
Summary: Just the past of my original character, Satoshi Hasegawa. This is a work of fiction and in no way related to real life.


My earliest memory...was when I was 7 years old. For some reason I just can't remember anything earlier than that age...But when I was 7 years old was the first time I'd ever been adopted. I remember being so excited, I had even teased the kids that previously teased me about never getting parents. I showed them, I thought. But I...don't know what happened. Even to this day, I don't understand. My "parents" walked into the orphanage on the day they were supposed to pick me up, and I was watching them from far away so I didn't bother them. They and the caretakers were talking, and my "parents" had unhappy faces. I couldn't hear what they wear saying, but I saw that the caretakers gave my "parents" some money, and my "parents" left. I was confused, but still optimistic. So I went to the caretaker they spoke to, Barbara. I asked "Why did they leave without me? Did they forget something at home?" I didn't expect the truth from _Barbara_. She was always a mean, fat, old woman. She glared down at me and explained, "They aren't coming back! They changed their minds, they _don't_ want you." Barbara lied all the time, just to be mean, so what she said made me angry. "You liar! They'll come back for me! You'll see! They want ME!" I snapped back and stomped off. For the rest of the day, I waited for them, watching the front door, expecting them any minute, but they never came. I remained optimistic for a week, until I finally realized what she said was true. I didn't understand why they just left me there. It didn't make sense to me that all the other children got moms and dads that loved them and they never got taken back or left there, but I was. So I began praying again, praying for parents every night as I frequently did. Life was so boring at the orphanage. None of the kids liked me because they said I was creepy and evil, and whenever I told on any of the kids for doing something wrong, I'd get punished for it instead, which was usually getting hit with a belt or hand or flyswatter, whatever was near I guess. Sometimes the punishments were really bad, and my whole body would hurt for a long time. But they always said I was "hamming it up" and that there's no way it could hurt for that long. I knew better than them.

Finally one day, when I was 13, someone finally adopted me! This time I stuck by them as much as possible so they couldn't leave me, and I didn't tease the other kids. Anna, our religious studies teacher told me that God punished me for teasing the other children by not giving me parents. So ever since I never said another mean word, and if I did slip, I would apologize to them and to God. I think my slip ups are why I didn't get parents until I was 13. But now they were finally here! They took me home and they asked me what I liked and stuff, I was so happy for once! After awhile, they stopped being as nice though, and started asking me to do chores. I did chores at the orphanage, but my parents were asking lots of chores I didn't know how to do, like washing dads car and cleaning the gutters. I didn't even know what a gutter was! I tried to keep up with all the chores, but I kept forgetting some, and even if I didn't forget, there was so many I wouldn't be able to do them all in one day. I was really trying hard, honest! But they thought I was just trying to be lazy, and said they'd take me back if I didn't do better. I began to freak out, it scared me so much to think I would mess up my only chance for a family. So a few times I was actually able to do all the chores in one day! But it wasn't all the time, just every other day, so they became so angry they took me back and left me at the orphanage again. I cried every night, blaming myself for messing up my only chance. I would become so angry, I would bite myself until I saw teeth marks, or scratch up my arms as punishment. But one day Anna noticed the marks and asked me what happened. I was never the type to lie, so I told her what I did and she wasn't happy about it. She said that I was making God mad because I was making one of his creations ugly. She told me that blood is the key to bringing the Devil into my body, and to pray for forgiveness, and pray to keep the Devil away. She cried so much when she prayed with me, it got me so scared. I didn't want the Devil in me, I didn't want to hurt anyone! So I had stopped my biting and scratching, and tried to stay optimistic about getting parents, even though I was worried I was running out of time.

The older I got, the more the caretakers told me I wouldn't be adopted. They said no one wanted a teenager, cause teenagers are scary and mean and kill people. I was determined to prove them wrong! I was 16 and I was a nice person, if I do say so myself! I never teased or said anything bad about anyone, even when they'd pick on me. I never fought back when they bullied me, and I took my punishments quietly, even if I didn't deserve them, and I always did every one of my chores, and some of the other kids chores, since they'd make me do them or tell on me for not doing my chores. Then they came, my new parents. They looked over all the kids, but they kept looking over me a lot, they mumbled to eachother that they wanted an older kid that can take care of themselves, mostly, and eventually they picked me, and they even took me the same day! Something about their credit scores or records or something were so good they let them have me the same day. This time I vowed to myself to never do anything to make them angry, and I would do anything they wanted. They wouldn't have to give me anything, not even food if they didn't want to, but I'd still do what they want if they'd just keep me. It was sorta the same as before, they asked me what I liked, and asked me to do some chores, but they stayed really nice, and they didn't make me do a lot of chores. But, after only a week, I heard my parents talking in their bedroom with the door open just a crack.

"I can't do this anymore, Dan! He scares me! He's always so happy, and sure he's never caused us a bit of trouble or complaint, but he'e so creepy! His eyes, they remind me of snake eyes!"

"I know, honey. I've seen it too. He's a good kid and all, but we're gonna have to take him back. He's just not for us."

I stared in shocked and terror, I panicked, trying to think of ANYTHING I could do to change their minds, anything at all, and the best I came up with was cleaning the whole house, and when I finished that, I tied a pair of my socks together and covered my eyes with them. The next morning, I got up and got dressed as usual, and they called me into the dining room. I felt my way in and stood facing them, or atleast I think I was facing them.

"...Sweetie, why do you have socks on your face?"

My mother asked in her usual kind tone, I piped back, confident my plan would work.

"So my eyes don't creep you out anymore. I'll be careful so you don't have to see them anymore."

"Take those off, son, that just looks ridiculous!"

My father was a practical man, and he knew how stupid it was, so I took them off and noticed my mom covering her face, crying.

"M-mom...why are you crying...?"

"I'm sorry, Satoshi. I'm so sorry we couldn't be better parents to you!"

I was starting to worry, though clinging to what remains of my optimism.

"What're you talking about? You guys are great parents?"

"What your mother means is, we want a _normal_ lookin' son. You know, someone to join the football team, with brown hair and brown eyes, or somethin' normal like that."

"I'm...not normal...?"

I wanted my father cover his own face with his hand. This was honestly the first time I'd ever thought if I was "normal" or not.

"W-wait, so your...getting rid of me?"

I noticed my mother started crying louder, and my father sighed heavily.

"I'm sorry, son, thats just the way It's gotta be."

I could do nothing but gawk at them. It felt like my whole world had been shattered all over again, and the weight of all the caretakers words suddenly crushed me like a ton of bricks. For lack of better last words, I was only able to mutter, "I'm sorry I wasn't good enough..." That day, dad took me back to the orphanage. All my optimism was gone now. I couldn't take this anymore. The taunts of the children and caretakers, the awful punishments, the rejection...no more...when I turned 17, I was nothing but a depressed lump. I did everything as I did before, but all life was sucked from me now. What was the point, if I would never be good enough. One night when I should have been in bed, I snuck to the kitchen and grabbed a big knife, and hid in and locked the bathroom door. I took off my pajama top and pressed the tip of the knife against my throat, making it bleed a little. I whispered a prayer of forgiveness for what I planned to do, and stood still, wondering if I should plunge it in all at once, or take it slow. And I began thinking over everything that had happened. That's what it came to me... "Is this the only way...?" I breathlessly spoke under my breath, and began slowly retreating the knife from my throat. That's when I hatched a plan. If I'm not good enough for them, then I don't need them. I planned to run away and never look back. I'll get into college and make something of myself. So I did. I left the knife on the bathroom floor and slipped out of the bathroom, sneaking into my shared room and I grabbed a duffelbag from under my bed and quietly, and began stuffing anything I owned into it, which wasn't much. Only a cross Anna gave me, my highschool diploma, and a few outfits. I got dressed, got my shoes on, and snuck out the back door and began running. I had no idea where I'd live or where to even start, but I knew I was never going back there again. I ended up sleeping on a park bench, using my bag as a pillow. When I woke up, I began looking around for any job that would take me. Because of my IQ I was able to finish high school earlier this year, so that was no problem. But my main problem was that all the jobs wanted me to have a credit report or a residence, so I kept being declined. Finally, a rich old woman offered me to become her...I hate talking about this...I hate the fact that writing this will be physical proof or evidence, but I'll say it anyway, even though I would never actually tell anyone. She asked me to be her...maid. She knew I was a boy, but she told me if I dress up in a skimpy maid uniform and cleaned her house, she would pay me. It was embarrassing as hell, but I had no choice. I guess she was into that kind of thing, she was always staring at my ass, and anytime I mentioned it, she would give me big tips. Ugh. She was paying me a lot, and the tips raised it up tons. I told her of my situation and asked her if I took on another job, if she would mind if I borrowed her address as my place of residence. She didn't mind at all, so I took up a new job as a part time waiter, and after I had enough money, I applied to the college in Japan I had heard about. The one that was said to be cheap, but quite respected, and gave degrees in medicine, which is what I wanted to get into. A few weeks later, they accepted me, so I quit my jobs and moved to Japan, into the college dorm, where I met the previous residents, Kiroki, Abel, and Dalton. Abel and Dalton can be pretty loud and noisy, but they don't seem like bad guys. But Kiroki and I really hit it off. He was pretty quiet and a great listener, so I was able to talk to him more than I'd spoken to anyone since I left the orphanage. I picked up two new jobs and everything was great.

One day, we were told a new dorm mate was coming in. I was sort of curious what he'd be like, and I had the week off, so I stood outside, waiting for him. Then I saw a woman come up with a backpack. She looked pretty, even though she wasn't smiling. I thought she'd be a lot prettier if she smiled. But I accepted I probably wouldn't be the person who could make her smile, and began showing her around. And that's the day everything changed...


End file.
